{I'll watch over you}

cumberqueen:

formermaleprostitute:

LOOK AT ME I’M HOT AND NAKED

LET ME PULL THESE SHEETS UP AND SHOW YOU MY SEXY RASH

OR LET ME GET TIED TO A CHAIR. FEEL FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT

I’M WEARING THIS SHIRT, BUT IT DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO COVER UP

OR LET ME WEAR THESE EXTREMELY, UNNECESSARILY TIGHT PANTS

OR I COULD TOTALLY MAKE OUT WITH THIS WOMAN AND TRICK YOUR BRAIN INTO THINKING IT’S A DUDE

HERE’S ANOTHER ONE TO TRICK YOU LOL

OR I CAN DO MY LAUNDRY NAKED IN THE RAIN WITH CARBOLIC SOAP AND EVEN THOUGH IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT YOU’LL STILL WANT TO BONE ME

OH LOL WHOOPS, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE CLEAN CLOTHES I GUESS I’LL JUST RUN TO MY ROOM NAKED. WHOOPS ALMOST SLIPPED, LOL

LET ME JUST TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF IN THE VAN, IT’S MORE EFFICIENT THAT WAY

OH HERE I AM WITH A DUDE AGAIN, OH WAIT, NO IT ISN’T LOL

DID YOU SAY YOU WANTED ANOTHER? OK, HERE

CHECK OUT THESE SWEET BOXERS. I NEVER WANT TO TAKE THEM OFF

OH WAIT, BUT HERE I AM WITHOUT THEM. WHOOPS AGAIN LOL

SORRY, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING? I COULDN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF WHAT A FUCKING AWESOME KISSER I AM LOL

OH MAN YOU’RE LOOKING A LITTLE FLUSHED. MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE A NICE COLD SHOWER LIKE ME. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN’T HELPING YOU COOL DOWN

GREATEST THING EVER